Sunday, November 26, 2006
Gerbil Pea Shooters
My friend recently told me the story about how her pet Gerbil died in its HabitTrail tube, and she couldn't get it out.
While tragic, it made me think about how those tubes, a vacuum cleaner set to reverse, and a gerbil would make a wicked gerbil pea shooter. I envision the gerbil/hamster/miscellaneous rodentia flying through the air, paws spinning back and forth, until it hits its target and proceeds to bury itself in said target's shirt, hair, coat, pants (if you're Richard Gere), etc.
I'm sure some of you are aghast at the idea, but c'mon - the hilarity! In any case, I don't have a vacuum cleaner that sucks, much less blows, so your pets are safe.
Incidentally, having a broken vacuum cleaner that won't suck totally makes the comment "My vacuum cleaner sucks" misleading.
While tragic, it made me think about how those tubes, a vacuum cleaner set to reverse, and a gerbil would make a wicked gerbil pea shooter. I envision the gerbil/hamster/miscellaneous rodentia flying through the air, paws spinning back and forth, until it hits its target and proceeds to bury itself in said target's shirt, hair, coat, pants (if you're Richard Gere), etc.
I'm sure some of you are aghast at the idea, but c'mon - the hilarity! In any case, I don't have a vacuum cleaner that sucks, much less blows, so your pets are safe.
Incidentally, having a broken vacuum cleaner that won't suck totally makes the comment "My vacuum cleaner sucks" misleading.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Chain Mails
So the other day I got a chain email that said "Send this out to 15 friends in the next 13 minutes or you will be doomed to bad luck!" A number of thoughts, and this is purely hypothetical (I'd like to think I have 15 friends. I'd count them but I only have so many fingers):
- What if I didn't have 15 friends to send it out to? Why do I get assessed a "friendless" penalty of being doomed to bad luck because I don't have enough friends? Isn't this like kicking someone when they're down? "You have no friends - and now you have bad luck! Ahahahahaha!"
- To avoid the bad luck, should I start mailing out to random people so as to meet the 15 person quota? Wouldn't that annoy the people who get the email? How, exactly, does that create 'good luck', by pissing off random strangers?
- What's with the 13 minute time limit? Is that tacked on there so I have a chance to make some friends quickly to hit the magic number 15? If I haven't made 15 friends to this point in my life, am I likely to hit a groove where I can get 15 friends in the next 13 minutes?
In short, it seems chain mails like these are thinly disguised attempts by the "cool" kids at my old high school to make me feel bad. I mean, hypothetically.
Anyways, a guy keeps leaving messages on my answering machine, telling me to call my mother. Weird.
- What if I didn't have 15 friends to send it out to? Why do I get assessed a "friendless" penalty of being doomed to bad luck because I don't have enough friends? Isn't this like kicking someone when they're down? "You have no friends - and now you have bad luck! Ahahahahaha!"
- To avoid the bad luck, should I start mailing out to random people so as to meet the 15 person quota? Wouldn't that annoy the people who get the email? How, exactly, does that create 'good luck', by pissing off random strangers?
- What's with the 13 minute time limit? Is that tacked on there so I have a chance to make some friends quickly to hit the magic number 15? If I haven't made 15 friends to this point in my life, am I likely to hit a groove where I can get 15 friends in the next 13 minutes?
In short, it seems chain mails like these are thinly disguised attempts by the "cool" kids at my old high school to make me feel bad. I mean, hypothetically.
Anyways, a guy keeps leaving messages on my answering machine, telling me to call my mother. Weird.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
The One Where The Blog Starts Up Again
Given the popularity of my adventures with the cats (despite the lack of comments here, I hear it's quite the hit with the Friends of Breeping's), I've decided to re-start this blog. Let's see how long it takes for anyone to notice - I can't imagine people are checking it daily anymore. But I was recently told that the old version of this blog was being quoted at parties, so that makes me think there's some interest out there. Plus, lots of *really* boring parties out there too.
While I may now be cat-less, and they were undoubtedly the stars of my last blog (which should be archived somewhere on this page for those interested, or even below this post), hopefully there will be enough entertaining things occurring in my life to keep me interested in posting here.
If not, I'll make some shit up. That's my heartfelt promise to you, my readers.
While I may now be cat-less, and they were undoubtedly the stars of my last blog (which should be archived somewhere on this page for those interested, or even below this post), hopefully there will be enough entertaining things occurring in my life to keep me interested in posting here.
If not, I'll make some shit up. That's my heartfelt promise to you, my readers.
